Soon after I posted “Company,” I was told that the last stanza could have been better handled. I’ll keep the specifics (as vaguely as I remember them) to myself but, with the passage of some time and the occurrence of some events, and the necessary spark of motivation, I’ve finally revisited the poem. I’ve made a few changes outside the final stanza as well, but all in all it remains mostly the same.
I tried on a pair of socks for company
Because they were warm
And they went with me unwaveringly
Wherever I chose.
One day, however,
The right disappeared (or was it the left?)
And the left one (was it right?) joined me no more.
I guess I was never as important
To either of them as the other one was.
When pants, shoes, shirts,
And even jackets (unpredictable jerks
Who’ll never spend time with you on warm days)
Proved insufficient, I decided
I wouldn’t look for company in my wardrobe.
“Be realistic,” I said to myself. “You don’t find friends in wardrobes.”
And so I looked for company in my shadow,
Who, unlike those socks, never chose another over me.
We were exclusive, as these things go, but
As always, there was a problem.
We couldn’t go out at night.
When candles, neon lights, flickering bulbs
And matches for birthday cakes (spreading into a halo
Of wishes on top of flourishes of icing)
Proved insufficient to hold my shadow’s attention,
I realized I couldn’t look for company in a carbon copy of myself
Who danced without question but without colour.
“And I guess that takes care of my echo,” I said to myself. “That one’s hardly any better.”
I looked for company in trees,
Who were great listeners,
But I could never get more out of them
Than sympathetic moans and succinct grunts of agreement.
I briefly tried animals, but that was a horrible move.
Many had no concept of personal space,
Or even hygiene. Some had such horrid
Ideas of reciprocation (yes, domestic cats, I mean you).
I tried mirrors (better than the shadows,
Since they would accompany you even on those late nights)
But they had an annoying habit of pointing out your flaws
And making you realize your strong points were nothing special.
And I tried pictures, and statues and LCD monitors
But even the widescreens seemed so flat and lifeless.
And when none of the songs, the shows, the sites
And the sitcoms (for the love of – don’t get me started on the dramas)
Could do anything for me, I tried to call,
But all I got was the answering machine.
I was never one for voice messages,
So I just sent a text, which didn’t get a reply
Until three in the morning, when I was lying
Face down on my bed with my pillows
Whose backs were turned to me.
The groan of the phone, its flashing lights
And the pixels, who apologized for their tardiness
Before they bade me good night,
Were silent and dark and senseless
As quickly as they’d arrived.
That was the last I sought of company.
